Order of Hierarchy

Those who arrive first should be given precedence. There is a perfect order for everything, and everyone has a place.

From a systemic perspective, life operates according to certain rules. When we are in the right place—emotionally, relationally, and hierarchically—resources, opportunities, and support flow to us naturally. When we are not, life responds with challenges, resistance, or lack. 

These are not punishments or failures; they are feedback. In systemic terms, difficulties and “lack” indicate that we are interfering with the natural flow of life.

The universe is constantly communicating with us. Bonuses and ease, as well as obstacles and tension, are part of the same language. When we follow systemic principles, growth and support unfold automatically.

One of the most common ways we block the flow of life is by disrespecting hierarchy. This includes judging, criticising, teaching, correcting, or positioning ourselves above those who are more senior, more experienced, older, or in roles of authority—whether parents, managers, leaders, or elders. When we place ourselves above others, we step out of our rightful place in the system. Life then “puts us back” through arguments, losses, attacks, or repeated difficulties. Gossip, judgment, and comparison are not harmless behaviors; they are systemic violations that interrupt flow.

We often unconsciously confuse our roles—especially in families—out of love for our parents.

For example, when we see our mother struggling, a child may energetically step into the role of her parent to support her or even the role of her partner (if absent). The child may provide emotional, practical, or psychological support.

This shifts the natural hierarchy: the child moves “above” the parent.

When this happens, the child may start judging or criticizing the parent—mirroring behaviors usually seen in parents themselves. This unconscious pattern is called parentification.

Parentified children often struggle to receive support—not only from their parents but from life itself. They may have difficulty accepting love, abundance, health, or help in general. Their own well-being is often sacrificed to care for others. They may feel burdened, anxious, guilty, or exhausted, and may attract partners who need care, repeating the pattern unconsciously.

Many children step into these roles in an attempt to repay the debt of life. However, the gift of life can never truly be repaid. It can only be passed forward to the next generation, allowing life to continue flowing. This is the core principle of hierarchy: life should flow forward, not backward.

Through family constellations, the natural order is restored: parents give, children receive. When this order is honored, emotional well-being, healthy relationships, and life’s abundance can flow naturally.